It was too many years ago that “Caddyshack” landed and become an instant classic, at least for a certain segment of young men. Though a brilliant comedy, there is a line that resonates with us to this day, for far different reasons than mere laugh potential.
Ted Knight, the perfectly cast Country Club President, waspy asshole and all-around douchefly, encounters Chevy Chase in the locker room. Chase’s Ty Webb is the most talented, albeit lazy golfer, on the Club’s roster.
Knight – “What’d you shoot today?”
Chase – “I don’t keep score.”
Knight – “How do you measure yourself against other golfers?”
Chase – “By height.”
Of course, like the rest of the movie, it’s funny – Chase was after all, four inches taller than Knight. Though almost 40 years later, the lesson now isn’t in the character’s flawless delivery. Instead it’s his motivation that the most enlightened of competition can and should be waged with himself, and if there is striving to be done, it has to come from within.
The web, especially social media, have destroyed our need for reflection and critical thought, and fostered the reckless belief that any question can be answered with a few key strokes. So why bother to figure anything out for ourselves?
For those who suffer from trust issues, and believe little of what is seen or heard, this is a debilitating coup that reinforces lazy mentalities and bad habits. Google and twitter have made short attention spans an asset, and that is killing us, spiritually and physically.
These days, when some finally tumble to the fact that they need to take better care of themselves, the first stop is Facebook, to find a trainer, or a community forum where like-minded enablers will lament right along with you. They won’t end up doing anything, but that’s OK, because at least you’ve given it some thought, or whatever passes for thought.
Those who fall into this trap aren’t really expecting to get into serious shape, just checking off the boxes. Petrified of hard work and self-regulation, they find comfort in talking over doing.
The majority of today’s trainers serve as emotional surrogates, at the expense of strict and regimented teaching. Most of the hour (standard is 55 minutes, which isn’t always enough,) is spent story-telling. Whenever someone has approached us during training to engage in chatter, we politely inform them that we would be more than happy to have a cup of coffee and socialize – after our session. Ask yourself what you are there for? And then get on with it, minus distractions.
No one can be rigorous 24/7, and that is by no means what we are suggesting. Everyone needs downtime, no matter how that manifests. Even revered stoics build in time to reflect and simply be.
But frequently letting oneself off the hook leads to bad habits. Excessive time spent over your phone; Eating and drinking too much because of mental boredom and failure of curiosity and imagination, all destroys the best parts of our soul. Or worse, opens the door to drugs and other forms of self-destruction.
Google, diet remedies, personal trainers? None are the self-proclaimed, all-encompassing panaceas ensuring a smooth path beyond self-doubt or depression. Not even the malaise that takes form when one blindly goes through the motions and then wonders, far too infrequently, where it’s all gone and what the hell has happened.
Trust practical experience. Find an exercise or discipline that you can work with, one that helps strengthen the physical bond with the mindful self. Google, or a trainer, can’t really tell you, beyond hyperbole, if you are pushing yourself hard enough, or if what you are eating will make you feel like sludge. Stop trying to sell the necessity of your needs and desires to others, just so you can feel a tenuous sense of inclusion.
Understand, accept and release what you can of the bruising insecurity that dwells in all of us. And then get on with it.
Believe in something larger and more important than yourself. Justify your life, and the way you live it, to yourself. Then strive to make it that much more.
Or we could be totally off the mark. Wouldn’t be the first time.